i found this lurking in an e-mail that i sent myself a few months ago.
since i’m feeling so lethargic and stoopid and incredibly brain dead, here it is:
… one hundred ratty things …
i had a black and white half arab horse when i was a kid. his registered name was ‘The Infidel’. we called him Khomma. he had a little white, backwards comma on his forehead. he was born in a stall in our backyard.
when my horse was about 3 or 4 years old i traded him to my sister for a piano. pianos don’t poop.
i am 5′ 4.5″ tall. i weigh 155 lbs. phoooey.
i was the first female to play in my high school’s jazz ensemble.
i played the alto saxaphone.
i couldn’t play the saxaphone now if you PAID me.
i donated my piano to a church after i got married. mostly to keep zakk from pounding on it.
when i was about 4 years old i stood outside an arena, watching my mother exercise her horse. i was wearing a sundress and no shoes. i was standing on a red ant hill. i really, Really, REALLY hate red ants.
if any ants get on me, i will itch all over and think that they are all over me.
i have 2 sisiters and 1 brother.
i am the oldest.
my siblings tell me that i am bossy. what do they know.
i have a scar on my chin from when i was in 5th or 6th grade. i was riding my bicycle and the front tire fell off.
i have a scar under my, hmmm, hold on, i have to look… under my right breast. when i was 6 weeks old i had pyloric stenosis. my mother simplified the explanation of this for me many years ago: “a knot was growing in your throat. you were starving to death”. there was a lot of projectile vomiting involved.
the first time zakk harfed up a HUGE amount of food, i panicked and called my mom. she asked me if it had hit the wall across the room. i said no. apparently, she had just fed him horrendous amounts of food on my first night back to work. which also explained why he wouldn’t eat all that breast milk i had saved for him. ouch.
i also have some scars from when my gall bladder was removed. it hated me. it had to go.
i wear glasses. i think i need bifocals now. i am not happy. i am resisting.
i don’t like contacts. i like hiding behind my glasses. i would have a dozen pairs if i could afford it. they are a fashion statement. so there.
i love fabric.
my favorite color is forest green. like the crayon.
i also like chartreuse. and olive green. i just like green.
i also like the colors orange, periwinkle and rust. i am an ‘autumn’.
i used to think, because i am so pale, that i could wear hot pink and black and look marvelous. they actually made me look yellow and dead.
my eyes are blue-ish green-ish.
i like rats. they are great pets except that they don’t live much longer than 2-4 years…
cats are okay.
i wish my cats were like REAL cats. i wish they would like to sit on my lap and purr and didn’t mind being carried around.
i love my dog.
i have thick, wavy, dark brown hair. it has red highlights when i go outside. in the daytime. which is rarely.
i (used to) work graveyard.
i (used to) sleep in the daytime.
i usually get one pre-menstrual migraine a month at a regularly scheduled time. very annoyingly convenient. the other migraines are probably stress or sleep-pattern related. oh boy.
i don’t wear nail polish.
i rarely shave my legs.
i pluck my eyebrows. i pluck a hair that occasionally grows out of the mole on my chin. when i am old and witchy looking? i won’t pluck it anymore.
i love marky.
i love my kids, even though they are teenagers.
my father was an artist.
i really like my job. i just wish it was closer to home.
one of my grandmothers was a christian scientist. she died from a curable cancer because she never had a pap smear. that makes me sad. it also makes me get a lot of pap smears.
my other grandmother is 92 years old. she is wonderful and annoying, like most really old people. she has a chihuahua.
my sister used to call me ‘gratcha-face’. i don’t know where THAT came from. she probably made it up just to be a bitch. typical.
my brother calls me ‘big-nose’. he’s just rude.
i have a little hook nose. my dead grandmother had a much bigger hook nose. my mother used to call her ‘dick tracy nose’ behind her back.
my mother was born on halloween. it suits her.
i was named after my auntie. my daughter is named after HER auntie.
i love my computers. i love to tweak.
i love to surf.
i love to search for stuff on the internet.
i built my own PC.
i enjoy quilting. i don’t make enough time to do it as often as i would like.
i have talented siblings.
i love my DSL. vastly hugely muchly.
i hate to go to the grocery store. i really want my groceries delivered.
i love tapioca pudding.
i like boots. all kinds of boots. and blue jeans.
i read mainly for entertainment. sci-fi/fantasy, espionage, murder mysteries, historical novels…
i quit smoking 19 years and 11 months ago, when i became pregnant with my son.
i have a son who smokes … sigh …
i would rather vacuum than dust.
my high school sweetheart was a drummer.
we dated for about 7 years. we’re still friends.
my son’s father is a drummer and not my high school sweetheart.
my daughter’s father was a drummer when he was younger. he was not my high school sweetheart OR the father of my son. do we see a pattern here?
i avoid drummers.
i love tuna casserole.
i can make tuna casserole.
i am not a great cook. i burn stuff. i am not allowed to leave the kitchen when i’m cooking, EVER.
my kids don’t like tuna casserole at all, as well as most things i cook.
i would rather bake…, cookies, bread, muffins, coffee cakes, brownies…
i have about 25 stuffed moose toys.
i have 5 stuffed rats. we’re NOT talking taxidermy here… ewww.
once? one of my rats died and it was too rainy to bury her. i wrapped her in fabric, put her in a little cardboard box and kept her in my freezer for a couple of weeks. maybe this happened twice. ratsicles in the morgue.
i love coffee. i drink a lot of coffee.
i’ve used the same big mug from Circle K, every day, for the last 6 or 7 years. i feel naked without it.
my newest favorite drink is a chilled tazo chai from starbucks. i bought the concentrate so i could make it myself at home. oooh BABY!
i have 4 nephews and 1 niece, 2 brothers-in-law and 1 sister-in-law. my sister-in-law has been around since she was 14 years old. i think of her as just another sister. one who never messed up my room or stole my clothes.
the last time i rode a bicycle i ran into a lamppost. ummm, 3 years ago, SO?
i love music, all kinds. well, maybe not polkas. or dixieland.
if i don’t write down what i hear that i like, i won’t remember what to buy at the music store.
i rarely buy books. i just borrow them from my mom and my sisters. we read a lot of the same stuff.
i am sarcastic. and blunt. ok, RUDE. either that or i’m very shy and tongue-tied. figure that out.
i love cold cereal. kix, frosted flakes, honey nut cheerios, cap’n crunch, ANY kind… i really get pissed when there’s NO MILK.
i really enjoy blogging. blogging is not my life.
i own a kodak dc280 digital camera. i lovelovelove my digital camera.
i wear very little or no jewelry. what i do wear is gold. once in a great while i wear a pair of silver rat earrings.
i have long fingers like my dad.
i love the fall. i love the rain
i do not do well in the HEAT. blech.
i’ve never been in the snow when it is falling from the sky.
i usually wear earplugs to bed and have a fan blowing year round. just a little ‘white noise’ to drown out the children (who take the stairs 2 at a time), the barking dogs, the lawn mowers and assorted other daytime noises. as well as the mariachi bands.
i chew on my lips. most lipsticks make my lips peel.
i have dark circles under my eyes whether i get enough sleep or not. it’s a hereditary thing.
i have not hung one picture in my house since i moved here 5 years ago.
i’ve hung one bulletin board, over my PC desk, and a christmas wreath over the fireplace. it’s still there. yes, i know it’s march.
i love PEZ!! i have a big wooden bowl full of PEZ heads.
i love fabric. did i say that already? i love patterns and quilting books and quilting magazines and quilting utensils.
i love my sewing machine. it’s a Bernina. it cost more than my computer and i deserve it. i learned to sew on my granny’s Bernina. i think hers is about 50 years old. mine is computerized, of course!
i wear dr. pepper chapstick. i have chapsticks of all flavors all over my house, in every room. i have had a dr. pepper lip smacker in my purse since high school.
i was a band geek. now, i just wanna be a computer geek. of the highest order.
Best ratty post ever. Loved it.
So I guess that since you burn stuff and can’t leave the kitchen when you cook, you probably don’t cook that much do you?
i do not cook much. once in a while i will fix a nice dinner that we all sit down and eat together, like we’re SUPPOSED to… my daughter gets all excited
thank god for timers!
it’s awfully scary how many things you and i have in common. the strangest:
“when i was 6 weeks old i had pyloric stenosis. my mother simplified the explanation of this for me many years ago: “a knot was growing in your throat. you were starving to death”. there was a lot of projectile vomiting involved.”
my daughter j. she was just 4 weeks though. scared the crap out of us. projectile is not a strong enough word!
love Jocelyn’s new “do”!!!!!!!!!
Karen