a peaceful morning…

goes to hell.

i got up to some MUCH needed peace and quiet. last night the house was full of rambunctious teenagers. my usually quiet daughter is home, with her best friend in tow (bethy arrived from lancaster yesterday). they were giggling and yammering, chasing each other with pillows, setting fire to things in her room… zakk? he’s always loud (3 friends and ZaXen on the stereo) and/or petulant (”where’s MY burger?”). i had to go out to the front yard and hang in some cool evening air … after my bi-weekly trip to the dreaded grocery store (bleah) … just to lower the ‘cranky-level’ that was already up behind my eyeballs.

so, it was worth dragging my ass outta bed early, just for the peacefulness of 3 sleeping teenagers, a non-barking puppy and slumbering cats. i washed dishes, did some laundry, connected the temp PC to the DSL, had a lovely couple of cups of vanilla coffee with a big bowl of corn pops and made several neccessary phone calls (tank gets spade at 6 months, rabies shot at 4 months, the bank says my paycheck’s deposited, the water company says they DID get my check and are NOT shutting off my water…). the teenagers looked so peaceful, sleeping on the couches, that i decided to embarrass them. alas, no picture of zakk. you know how guys are in the morning … umm, NOT photogenic, at least not when they’re horizintal and wearing paper thin plaid boxers … but boy, was it tempting … :)
they started waking up slowly. not noisily, just waking up. and then i noticed the girls arms. they had carved into their arms with a piece of glass. a word. a circle. long straight lines. bloody scabs. deep looking cuts. swollen skin.

fuck.

out comes the peroxide. the cotton balls. the ointment. the lectures.

it wasn’t even 11am yet.

the dog? the dog is fine. she found a moose slipper. she’s a happy camper. i need a fucking moose slipper … do you think it’s too early for me to take a nap??

Comments

  1. Karen said August 16, 2002, 4:24 pm:

    Take all the naps you can get, as it sure sounds like you deserve them! Wow. :)

  2. Patti said August 17, 2002, 5:30 am:

    Could you please send my life back when you’re done with it? LOL

  3. Jessica said August 18, 2002, 4:05 pm:

    Oy, arm carving.
    That is baffling. We wondered what the next generation would come up with to baffle us? There’s one answer.
    I mean! They didn’t even dowse them with India ink, a la junior high tattoo practice?

    I promise not to give your kids ideas.

    Hey, Ratty, look what you got me for my birthday!

    Yaaaay!!!

    Thank you!!!

  4. Naked Tiny said August 19, 2002, 2:07 pm:

    You mean I get to look forward to my daughter chopping up her arms in five years? o.O

    Grrrreat.

    How does one lecture on mutilation with unsterilized shards of glass without sounding like one’s own mother, I wonder? Blah.

  5. Bill said August 21, 2002, 12:42 pm:

    This is going to sound fucked-up but: you have less to worry about if she’s self-mutilating socially. It’s stupid, and it’s probably going to be a long and difficult fashion-phase for you, but it’s only the ones who do it all alone, who hide it, that you should worry about.
    They were stupid, they tried to do a little home-tattooing, as it were, but it wasn’t out of self-hate and they didn’t try to conceal it from you… as an ex-self-mutilator of the dangerous variety, trust me on this. And if you want to put them in touch with me to talk about why it’s a stupid thing to play at, I’d be pleased to lend a typing hand.

  6. ratty said August 21, 2002, 6:08 pm:

    bill: many thanks :)
    patti: damn! can i please???